Prep and preheat: Heat the oven to 375°F (190°C). Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish.
Cook the bacon: Pan-fry or bake until crisp. Drain on paper towels, then crumble.
Set aside.
Par-cook the cauliflower: Steam or microwave florets until just fork-tender (about 5–7 minutes steaming, or 6–8 minutes in the microwave), then drain well. Pat dry with paper towels to remove excess moisture.
Make the creamy ranch sauce: In a large bowl, mix cream cheese, sour cream, mayonnaise, ranch seasoning, heavy cream, garlic powder, and black pepper until smooth. A hand mixer helps.
Taste and adjust salt if needed.
Add cheese and onions: Stir in 1/2 cup cheddar, mozzarella, and most of the green onions (save a little for topping).
Combine with cauliflower: Fold the cauliflower into the sauce until evenly coated. Gently stir in half the crumbled bacon.
Assemble: Spread the mixture in the prepared dish. Top with the remaining cheddar and the rest of the bacon.
Bake: Cook for 18–22 minutes, until hot and bubbly.
For a golden top, broil for 1–2 minutes at the end, watching closely.
Finish and serve: Let it rest for 5 minutes. Garnish with remaining green onions and parsley. Serve warm.